The Funk

This ragweed crap has been kicking my ass for the past couple days, and Lincoln has had Croup, which is a nasty virus that comes complete with a barking couch that sounds terrifying, extreme congestion and of course a lot of fussiness and fatigue. This has been going on since last Tuesday (so...a week now). Lincoln went to the doctor twice last week and per doctors orders, I have been pumping him full of Mucinex, Tylenol, Benadryl and Vick's Vapo-rub. Poor kid.  He scared me so bad with his cough and inability to breathe on Saturday night that we called the on call doctor at 2:30 am.  And here I was feeling all smug that my baby might not get sick very often because of the breastfeeding. Wrong.

Just when supermom was needed the most, the ragweed kicked in and gave me a terrible sore throat, gunk, headache and fatigue.  The 2-3 hours of Lincoln's wake time never seemed to drag so much than when I am sick.  I usually enjoy it very much and try to fill it with as much cuddle time, reading and playtime as I can. However, he is a fairly clingy baby in general and especially when he is sick, so he has been more hands on than ever.  No rest for the weary.

My sister in law let us borrow this awesome thing called a 'Jumperoo'. I call it the 'command center' because its a swivel chair on springs surrounded by an activity center. He loves it and I thought that it would help me be able to get some stuff done around the house while he played in it but when I go out of his view he freaks out.  As I am about to start working (tomorrow, I am going in to do a refresher for myself and to figure out how to get the giant, heavy machines off of their mounts and onto the floor) I hope that he will be ok with the new set of childcare ladies at our new YMCA. I will only be doing 30 minute sessions tomorrow, Thursday and all next week. It should be a nice gradual transition. I just hope we are both back to 100% by then. No one likes a snotty baby...or Pilates instructor for that matter.

Back in the saddle

I am very excited to say that I am going to be the new, first-ever Pilates reformer instructor at the Foster Family YMCA. I am beyond thrilled to be a part of the beginning of this new program. After 6 months, I am ready to get back in the saddle again and cannot wait to bring my new prenatal and postnatal experience tony students. And just in time, my 4 pack is starting to show up again!!!

The as-vegan-as-possible lifestyle and the workouts are paying off. I have a new appreciation of what my body is capable of and I'm so proud to be a strong, fit, healthy mom for myself and my family.  It wasn't easy at first and my cardio abilities are not completely back but it is worth it to keep working at it.

Chinese 'chicken' salad

This has been a family favorite for years. It's a little labor intensive so it's best for occasions. However, the result is delicious and worth the effort.

Salad:
5 chicken breasts or 2 bags of fake chicken
1 package of wonton wrappers cut into strips and fried
1 head of lettuce, washed and chopped or torn into bite size pieces
4 green onions chopped
3 tablespoons toasted sesame seeds
1/4 cups slivered almonds

Dressing:
Over low heat, combine
3 tablespoons red wine vinegar
3 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon ajinomoto
1/4 cup salad oil
1 tablespoon sesame seed oil

Note: ajinomoto is MSG and can be left out

Wild Rice Salad with Apples and Walnuts

Just in time for fall. From Quick Vegetarian Pleasures cookbook.

Peanut Sauce Recipe

This goes great with spaghetti or soba noodles with pineapple or cucumber or over baked tofu with brown rice and steamed broccoli. I like it a bit thinner so I use a bit more vinegar and rice wine to taste. I serve it with a broccoli slaw salad. For the dressing, I use a pack of oriental ramen seasoning for the base then add oil and vinegar. Then crunch some of the dry noodles on top if the salad. Yummy and easy.

1/2 cup natural peanut butter
1/3 cup low sodium soy sauce
3 tbs rice wine
1 tbs water
2 tbs rice vinegar
1 tbs sesame oil
1 tbs brown sugar or agave nectar
3 garlic cloves, pressed or grated
Sprinkle of crushed red pepper flakes

Note: if you are not used to cooking Asian food and don't have a lot of these ingredients, don't worry. They don't cost much and keep forever!

Halloween pumpkin project

I got this idea from Parents magazine. I think it turned out pretty cute. The hardest part was figuring out how to wrap the web.

Ouch!

The last three years have been full of more change than some people have in a lifetime. I got divorced, found the love of my life, got pregnant, got married, had a baby, had surgery, our house was flooded, lost my newborn nephew, refinanced our house, and now am dealing with a major flea infestation brought on by one of our dogs that got loose and brought home some unwelcome friends, as well as updating the kitchen, and patio and redoing our floors. Needless to say, I have changed. From a fairly carefree girl, with tons of leisure time, able to go out dancing, have happy hours, and occasionally drink myself silly to a woman with responsibilities, a partner that I deeply respect and a child I am deeply devoted to and whose needs come first. Period. Also, I'd rather hang out as a family now than by myself. Maybe that seems lame to some but give me a patio, some family, friends and my husband and son over any bar, any day.

Needless to say, I have shed some friends along the way.

As a very loyal person, and a person who tries to treat my friends very well, I have been continually surprised at how hurtful girls can be. From the nutjob that brought cocaine to my family's vacation home without my knowledge and certainly without my blessing, to my childhood best friend who drunkenly screamed my personal business (most of it untrue and exaggerated) to a house full of people to the most recent heartbreak. My best friend made a comment about my mothering that I'm not sure I can recover from.  There had been tension mounting for a while.  She works and I stay home with my son, so she had invited me to happy hours and movies and things in the evening when I like to be home to feed my son and put him to sleep. He had been in a very clingy stage, and I had been going through hell trying to get him to bed some nights and I didn't want to leave him while he was having this issue. I tried to explain this to her at an afternoon Starbucks chat, and she looked at me like I had been lobotomized.

It took me a month or so to confront her about this, I admit to being a bit of a coward when it comes to confrontation, and when I did, I was almost sorry I had.  She remembered the conversation and knew exactly what I was talking about. And while she said she was sorry for 'hurting my feelings', she said that she thinks that I intentionally made my son dependent on only me 'on purpose, to make myself feel important'.  I was absolutely crushed and floored.  As she is not a mother, there was no way that I could explain to her that it's not about me anymore. That when it comes to my child, it's whatever is best for him. 'making myself feel important' doesn't even enter into the equation. As a stay at home mom and breastfeeding mother, it is natural that I am more physically close to my son. I am his main source of food, love, clean diapers, etc.  My husband is great with him. The absolute best at making him laugh, however, when it comes down to it, I spend the most time with him and he gets nourishment from my body, so OF COURSE he is dependent on me.

At first, all I could manage to say back was 'WOW, OK'.  She told me that she is sorry she hurt my feelings that first day, but that she is not sorry that was her reaction and that is how she feels and will never be sorry she has opinions on things. How do you argue with someone or make up with someone who isn't even sorry for making assumptions about your personal life or the way you raise your child??? I told her that we needed to take a breather and think about how to move forward.  Now that I have thought about it, and the deep hurt and anger from her remark has set in, I'm just not sure how to move on from this one.